My MIL forwarded this to me….I’m not a big fan of forwards but this one was pretty funny so I thought I would share. This especially hit home in light of my recent aging process (i.e., birthday)!

This is a story by David McClure from the Dallas News Community Opinion
page.

$5.37. That’s what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I
dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that
used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five, I started
to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo
hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, “It’s
OK. I’ll just give you the senior citizen discount.”

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change
hitting the counter in front of me. “Only $4.68” he said cheerfully. I stood
there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet – a mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with
Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I’ll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode
to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of
me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

“Dude! Can’t get too far without your car keys, eh?” I stared with utter
disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. “Leaving keys behind
hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!”

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition,
but it wouldn’t turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still
nothing. That’s when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview
mirror
. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat.
Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut
on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.
Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be
leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in
the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I
reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the
restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail
polish. All I could think was, “What is the world coming to?” All I could
say was, “Did I leave my food and drink in here?” At this point I was ready
to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home
and apply for Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad
came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a
drink and a bag. His mother explained, “I think yo u left this in my truck
by mistake.” I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly
apologized.

She offered these kind words: “It’s OK. My grandfather does stuff like this
all the time.”

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was
racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I’m not
too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I
handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in
my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

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