Here’s how a typical cooking endeavor unfolds in my kitchen.
I decide I want a rhubarb crisp.
Search local stores and farmers market for rhubarb for five years.
Finally find it at Whole Foods. Snatch up their entire selection of eleven stalks.
Forget about it for a week until waking up at two in the morning one day obsessing over whether it’s spoiled.
Drag out my recipe book the next day and congratulate myself on actually having all the ingredients on hand.
About halfway through realize I don’t have cornstarch. What?!
Search cabinets frantically.
Vaguely recall throwing an expired box out when cleaning my pantry several months ago.
Search internet for cornstarch substitutes.
Yes! All-purpose flour.
Realize I only have whole wheat flour and have no idea if that will produce same results.
Come to the conclusion that it’s either go to the store or let $5/lb rhubarb go to waste.
Take a peek in the mirror for the first time in days and realize why Kleenex and Dayquil are my current best friends.
Attempt to make self look passably human and load the kids in 200 degree car.
Make “quick” trip to Walmart for the cornstarch and essentials that have run out during plague (bread, milk, eggs, okay….pretty much everything).
Realize while looking at Argo cornstarch that there’s an entire container sitting at home in pantry.
Suppress screaming fit.
Arrive home 1.5 hours later completely exhausted and wonder why rhubarb crisp no longer sounds good.
Put cheap pizza in oven amidst cries of hunger from the natives.
Add cornstarch to other ingredients in pan and turn on heat.
Remember too late that something boiled over onto burner yesterday.
Switch to back burner.
Figure out that the sticky mess that boiled over also contaminated back burner.
Silently rant at Jeremy for putting smoke alarm in kitchen.
Attempt to calm hysterical children who think house is being invaded by aliens or something.
Fan smoke alarm.
Finally get syrupy stuff to boil.
Shriek when boiling syrup pops all over hands.
Fan smoke alarm.
Feed cheap frozen pizza to the kids and try to squelch guilty feelings for being bad mom.
Pour syrup over rhubarb and put in oven.
Feel so sorry for self that I eat entire cheap frozen pizza.
Retreat to my den of kleenex.
1 cup flour (I used whole wheat)
3/4 cup oatmeal
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
4 cups rhubarb
2 TBSP cornstarch
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
1 tsp vanilla
Mix flour, oatmeal, brown sugar, cinnamon, and butter together.
Press half of mixture into greased baking dish.
Layer cut rhubarb on top.
Mix remaining ingredients in small pan, bringing to boil.
Stir constantly until thick and clear.
Pour over rhubarb.
Put remaining oatmeal mixture on top.
Bake at 350 for one hour.
Enjoy the deliciousness.