Dear crazy weather, don’t you know that Alaska is supposed to be colder than Texas in December? If you insist on being cold, can we please have snow? Dear wretched car, you’d think with all the TLC Jeremy has poured into you this past month that you’d be a little more grateful. You’re obviously a very demanding mistress, but we’d like to see him once in a while, too. Dear husband, Susannah is requesting a little purple Christmas tree for her room. Although in a pinch, pink would work. Dear Jack Bauer, thank you for my daily dose of afternoon excitement. You get me through my workouts and save the world from terrorists all at the same time. But can you please do me a favor and not be all out of breath every single time you talk? I know there’s always a crisis happening, but it’s really annoying. Dear creepy dude in the Walmart parking lot, don’t you know that you shouldn’t walk up to a woman parked in the far reaches of a dark lot just to ask for twenty cents? Next time I’ll have my pepper spray with me. Hopefully. Dear husband, what would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?