Dear Madeline, thank you for deciding to pee all over the floor on Sunday while I was filling plates of food for you and your sister in the potluck line. Really, it was classic. Dear everyone, do you have any idea how hard it is to try to cut in line at a Baptist fellowship? Pretty near impossible, even when all you’re trying to do is clean up the lake of questionable liquid from the floor. Seriously, peoples. Just let me in to clean up the puddle. Dear new circuit workout, my muscles are leading a rebellion against you. Dear haircut, I’m shocked that I actually like you. Especially since the woman at the salon completely ignored what I asked her to do. How stereotypical of her. Dear grapevines that have taken over our entire backyard fence, if everything we planted grew and produced as well as you do we would be living in the garden of Eden right now. Dear mom and dad, I can’t wait to see you in June. Dear Phil and Jenn, I can’t wait to see you in July. Dear Heather and grandma, I can’t wait to see you in August. Dear gigantic mountain of laundry waiting to be folded, I wish I would never see you again.