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Dear Madeline, it kills me every time you say something is “so widiculous.”  Such attitude for someone so small.  Dear Susannah, I’m sorry that I don’t buy you a pretzel from Subway every time we go shopping.  I’m also sorry that when I say no it makes you “so depressed.”  What are moms for if not to inflict trauma like that?  Dear Madeline, contrary to what you may think (and say), you do NOT have to do everything around here.  All we asked was for you to put a trash bag in the can.  Good grief.  Dear Susannah, I can tell you’ve been spending a lot of time around your dad whenever you talk for twenty minutes straight about how fast our car is because “it has a Corvette in its motor.”  Just shoot me now.  Dear Madeline, it totally made my day when I asked you what your favorite thing to do is, and you answered (with shoulder shrug), “I guess just kwaft-ez (Madeline-speak for crafts).”  Best answer ever!