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Dear Madeline, your wheezing-gasping-late-night-trips-to-the-ER stuff is making my hairs turn gray.  At least now I have something to blame it on, though.  Dear Susannah, no, I really can’t explain WHY the English language is the way it is.  It doesn’t make much sense to anyone, so you’re going to have to just suck it up and learn it like we all did.  Sorry.  Dear husband, thanks for trying to make it up to us all when we had to cancel our hot date (and the girls had to cancel their hot date with grandma and grandpa).  You’re a good guy.  Dear self, you’ve seriously got to stop with the coke drinking.  You don’t want to end up like that lady who died from drinking it all day.  No, seriously, you don’t. Dear self (again), why are you talking in the third person?  Weirdo.