Ah, Wal-Mart.
The place everyone loves to hate.

Since I have one less than a mile from my house, I feel at times that I spend half of my life there.

Here are a few of my observations:

  • At least at Wal-Mart, customer service is a thing of the past.  They just don’t care.  Not only do they not care, but they don’t care that they show that they don’t care.  :)
  • Wal-Mart’s price match guarantee is a lie.  So much for GUARANTEEING.  “The eggs were a lie, Stephen!”
  • Nowhere else in the world are you more likely to see more (hideously) pajama-clad patrons.  The other day I saw  three generations of white-trash women in low-riding pajama pants and sleep tanks ahead of me in line.  {shudder}  walmart
  • If you break your leg or something, good luck on finding a motorized cart. The ratio of people driving versus pushing carts is about 1:1.
  • Speaking of carts, if you’re at a Wal-Mart, fully prepare yourself to stand trapped at least five times by a family spread across the entire width of the aisle, arguing about Capri-Suns and Oreos and refusing to move over even an inch.  Also prepare yourself for them to stay one aisle ahead of you for your entire shopping trip.  wlmart
  • It’s a proven fact that Wal-Mart’s produce and fresh meats are both expensive and extremely low-quality.  Every time.
  • If for some reason you need to speak to a “supervisor,” prepare for them to look like they belong in a gang.  Don’t panic; drive-by shootings can’t happen inside because it’s against store policy.
  • There’s no other place on Earth with a greater congregation of screaming kids, screaming parents, and half-eaten, unpaid-for candy bars.
  • I think one of the qualifications to be a female cashier is that you must be a card-carrying member of the tobacco-chewers club and have lost at least three teeth because of it.  2b7651453c73bc81a6d7df6cc16cb65b
  • If you want to see your city’s most outlandish citizens, stop by your local Wal-Mart.  Just do it.  17824_573880942645895_1689175523_n

And yet, despite all this, as Proverbs says, “I’ll seek it yet again….”